Uplifting

I really wish I was one of those people who was always happy and that people found uplifting but I am just not that person. However, I am trying to get a better attitude - to be more positive - to let go of things I cannot change - to understand that people aren't always nice but that doesn't mean I have to me un-nice - and to live life to the absolute fullest.

Psalm 3:3 says "But you, Lord, are a shield around me, my glory, the One who lifts my head high." I relish in this idea - the idea that when everything else around me feels as though it is crashing in the Lord is there for me. He is not simply just present but is is protecting me, lighting my way and lifting my head above it all. This should definitely be motivation to not let the things that life throws my way get me down, overwhelm me or defeat me. How could it?!

Dear Ellie (from Bob Dylan)

May God bless and keep you always

May your wishes all come true

May you always do for others

And let others do for you

May you build a ladder to the stars

And climb on every rung

May you stay forever young


May you grow up to be righteous

May you grow up to be true

May you always know the truth

And see the lights surrounding you

May you always be courageous

Stand upright and be strong

May you stay forever young


May your hands always be busy

May your feet always be swift

May you have a strong foundation

When the winds of changes shift

May your heart always be joyful

And may your song always be sung

May you stay forever young

------- Bob Dylan

Ellie Bellie,

I could not have it better - these are our wishes for you.

We love you beyond words,
Mama and Dada

Dear Ellie and Baby #2:

Ellie Bellie,

I struggled with whether I needed to document this experience or not given that it is not necessarily a pleasant memory. However after much thought I felt it was a memory that we all needed to know and keep. I hadn't documented the fact that we were expecting a new baby on the blog - dada calls it a sixth sense - but I guess somehow I knew that something wasn't right. I found out we were expecting a second baby the beginning of August and we were pretty excited yet very scared. How would a new baby impact our family? How would you react to a sibling? Were we really prepared for a newborn in the house?!? Somewhere along the line I guess I experienced some mother's intuition because I just felt that something was missing and kind of felt that this baby wasn't real. Yet I made the baby doctor appointment and they confirmed we were pregnant and so we pressed on.

We scheduled a dating ultrasound for yesterday so we could get an accurate "age" for the baby and, once again, I felt as if something bad was going to happen. The appointment was scheduled at your naptime so dada stayed home with you - as to not disrupt your schedule. The sonographer did her thing and I could tell instantly that something was amiss. Turns out there was a sac for the baby but no baby inside - I think it is called a blighted ovum. The doctor came in and said it was a possibility that it was just too early to see the baby or hear a heartbeat, but I knew that the dates were not THAT far off. I came home - you were taking a nap - and your dada and I just cried together. We were in shock, still grasping at the hope that maybe our calculations were off, and yet beginning to realize that this second baby was not to be. Later that night we received confirmation that we were no longer pregnant and that, for now, it was just the three of us.

All of this has made us so much more grateful for your presence in our lives. As I have written to you before, we struggled to get pregnant with youand are now beginning to see more and more what a miracle you are to us. We were sad that you will not have a sibling come April 21st but know that we can still try again. I want you to know this story because I think it is important to know that you had a sibling - one that you just never met face to face and one that went to heaven very early on. I am not sure why this happened and I'm not sure what is meant to come of it all, but I do know that God has a plan for us all and this was part of it. I have no doubts that you would have been such a magnificent older sister to this baby and although it would have challenged you to not be the only one around I really think you would have relished the opportunity to be in that role. You are so loving, caring, compassionate and thoughtful I just know you would have loved this baby even though it meant big changes for you.

You, Miss Ellie Bellie, remain our miracle and we are so thankful that you are ours.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Baby #2,

Your dada and I are very thankful that we got to be your parents even if it was for a mere 8 weeks while you were in my belly. We were quite excited at the prospect of having you in our lives and of having Ellie be an older sister to you. You would have loved her! Her personality would have likely overwhelmed you at first, but then I think you would clearly see what a wonderful sister she could be! Likewise, I have no doubts that you would have brought much joy to our lives and that we would have enjoyed every second of you getting to be with us. We had a million and one hopes and dreams for you - even in such a short time - and are saddened that you didn't get to experience them. I just hope that in the time we had with you that you felt loved and cared for and, even now, that you know how much love we have in our hearts for you. Some may say you were not even yet a "baby" but that is not true to us - You will always be remembered as our baby and we will always love you.

Little Snowdrop

The world may never notice


If a Snowdrop doesn't bloom,

Or even pause to wonder

If the petals fall too soon.

But every life that ever forms,

Or ever comes to be,

Touches the world in some small way

For all eternity.

The little one we long for

Was swiftly here and gone.

But the love that was then planted

Is a light that still shines on.

And though our arms are empty,

Our hearts know what to do.

Every beating of our hearts

Says of our love for you.

Dear Ellie: 19 months

Dear Ellie,

I have been a blogging slacker and am trying to retroactively catch up on all the pics from the last few months. However, you will be (in 1 weeks time) turning 19 months old and as I sit here and write to you I am overwhelmed with emotion at how quickly time has passed. I won't say how "time has passed us by" because I truly feel as though we have lived every moment together to the absolute fullest. You are such a blessing from God and just to think about the ways you have touched our lives in 19 months brings tears my eyes. You have absolutely stolen our hearts.

I recall vividly the day we found out we were pregnant with you, the first time we heard your heartbeat, the day we first saw you on an ultrasound, the first time I saw you face to face, and every first since then. You have grown into a marvelous little lady and we are so proud to call you ours. You love every minute of life and you are just the happiest little girl I know. You love to laugh, smile, dance, play, run, swim, give kisses and hugs, and to chat up a storm. You are so flexible and you welcome going on all kinds of adventures with us. Everywhere we go you find fans and a cheering section and you love to talk to people and engage people - it's very unlike your dada and I but so natural for you. You jump, you sing, you talk and you amaze us daily with all you do. You have the most kind heart, sweet spirit, and gentle nature (most days!) and not a minute goes by that you are not thinking of others.

If your dada and I were going to hand select all the qualities we wanted in a baby we would have picked everything you are. You are truly a dream and we are blessed to get to be your parents.

Thank you for letting us love on you daily and providing guidance to you as you walk through your life's journey. Remember that we are always here for you - we may not always agree with you and definitely won't support bad choices (simply because we always want the absolute best for you) - you can rely on us to be honest, loving, caring, and steadfast in our love for you.

I hope I can exemplify this quote:

"Be a Mother who is committed to loving her children into standing on higher ground than the enviroment surrounding them. Mothers are endowed with a love that is unlike any other love on the face of the earth."

— Marjorie Pay Hinckley

Your dada and I will always have such high expectations for you - please don't feel pressured by them but rather feel loved and supported by them. We have them for your benefit - for your joy - for you to have a life filled with your every possible dream.

We love you more than you can ever fathom.

~ Dada and mama

Happy 18 AND 19 months Bugz!

Ellie Bellie,

I got a little behind with the updates so I am combining 18 and 19 months - hope you don't mind! 
Here are the cold hard facts about you for the past two months:

* You are still the fastest little girl I know! You dart off like a jet, walk with a great amount of stamina and jump up and down when you get excited!

* You have 14 teeth now!!! You now like to help "brush" your teeth at night and can mimic the sound your dada and mama's Sonicare makes and you know that we are brushing our teeth like you do!

* Animal sounds you know: cow (this has grown inconsistent), duck, monkey, sheep, fish, horse, frog (along with motions) NEW: elephant, puppy, kitty
* Other sounds you know: train (choo choo) along with motions, Ellie (ahhhh!!), car (vroom), horn (beep beep), vacuum, Sonicare, dada's pager, the car alarm (beep  beep beep)
* You wave and say "heh-wo" (hello) and "Bye bye" to people which they still love.
* You still love to dance.
* When your dada gets home you still run to the door to greet him, then you put your hands up so he can pick you up, and you say hi -- so precious! Now you also yell "Dada dada!!"

* Every night you run and go give your dada a kiss before you go to bed.

* Your STILL smile lights up a room!!!

* Your laugh is so beautiful - you laugh when you are tickled (feet, neck, belly and side), when your dada plays Elmo with you, when we chase you, and when you play/chase with your red ball

* You still HATE: having to sit still, being told no, and missing any of the action

* You are a superb eater!! You LOVE anything! However now if you are full you still take the food but you just spit it out....its pretty gross.

* You prefer big people food -your faves are: tuna sandwich, chicken noodle soup, vegetable soup, hamburgers, chicken strips, fries, applesauce, watermelon, goldfish, fruit snacks, rolls, broccoli, corn, animal crackers, cheese (you are your mothers daughter), kettle corn, and quesadillas, pot pie, hamburgers and cereal.

* You are still obsessed with popsicles - however this has subsided only because we can't afford to buy so many popsicles!! You were going through several boxes a week!!
* Your favorite condiments ketchup and RANCH DRESSING!! Your dada wanted to buy you this shirt that said "I put ketchup on my ketchup" however we couldn't find one in your size...this shirt sums it all up!
* You have toys you LOVE: Your books, your doll and doll stroller, all of your outside toys (buckets, shovels, wagons, and anything you can put water in), magna doodle, your red ball, toy cell phones and your Elmo. Elmo replaced the monkey -- you call for Elmo by name, you sleep with him, you recognize if he's missing....
* You love to run free!

*You LOVE playing in the water!

* Things you love to try to play with but shouldn't: laptop, ipad, cellphone, desk top keyboard

* Personality: Charming, Stubborn, Inquisitive/Nosey, Loving, playful, Joyful, "too smart for your own good," - these have not changed...ever.....Soooooo I think this means something :)

* Things we are working on: not just doing "your own thing" and ignoring the rules/testing limits and sitting still
Now we can add talking very loudly in public places -- quiet voice!!
* Favorite things to "watch":  Spongebob Squarepants, and your FAV is Yo Gabba Gabb - we watch Yo Gabba Gabba ALL DAY LONG - no lie. 24/7 Yo Gabba Gabba at this house.

* Biggest "Places" you've gone thus far: Salt Lake City, Phoenix, Disneyland, Tuscon, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, NV, Seattle, a Caribbean cruise (Belize, Cozumel, Roatan, and Costa Maya), New Orleans

*Places you will be going: back to Disneyland in October, Las Vegas in November to see Yo Gabba Gabba Live!!

* You STILL like to pretend talk on the phone but now you talk longer - and you love to chat with your dada on the phone when he is driving home from work. now you chat with your grandmas on the phone also!

* You just started walking and holding our hands instead of trying to shake us off and run off by yourself.  Now you even say "hand" to request we hold your hands.

* You still wash your hands and shampoo your hair
* Holidays you have celebrated: Halloween, Valentines Day (2), Easter (2), 4th of July (2), Thanksgiving, and you had your 1st Christmas, your 1st birthday.

* Nap time: 400 pm (the cruise got you a little off schedule)

* Bed time: between 930 - 1000 pm
* Favorite blankie: Your new pink/green animal blanket

* You LOVE to take showers!! In fact, you ask for them by name! You also now request baths (Bafs).

* Fav sleeping position: on your belly curled up in a ball in the corner of the crib

* Favorite song: All Yo Gabba Gabba songs

* You are still so cuddly

* You now say "I uv ooo" -- I love you! It's the greatest thing EVER!!
* Nicknames: "Ladybug" "Lady" "Ellie Bellie" "Bo-bz" "Bugz" "Ellie Bo Bellie" and "Ellie Bo Bo"

* Things you "Say": (new) shower, bath, trash, applesauce, I know, ready...go, have, hands, backpack, so, tasty, worldwide, boat, cookie, turkey, glasses, go...car, sleep, chip, fork, kiss, knuckles, high five, hit head, it hurt, teeth, i love you, close, hello, potty, i see you, peek a boo, kitty, i care, ouch, more, milk, blanket, elmo, watermelon, elephant, oh gosh -- I think that is all so far -- (old) dada, mama, baba, gaga, nana, papa, hi, moo, shoe, fish, ball, pup, puff, fuff, quack quack, nah, night night, bye, bear, shower, bye see you, poop, wa-wa, good girl, outside, sorry, yeah, juice, shirt, pants, thank you, cheese, car, no no, bird, nose, hair, feet, shoes, soup, oh no, pretty, nice, gone gone, phone, baby, your name, kick, out, off, up, down, trash, there you go, TV, go, wow, chair, hot, flower, and bottle

* One time we got you to say your first and last name....we will keep working on this!

* You repeat most things we say -- watch out!

*You still know the difference between off/on and up/down and you know that the oven can be hot, you say when your food is hot, and you still do pretty good word association by saying words when you see pictures in books or in real life.

* Now you say "trash" to request to throw away your trash, you say "have" when you want us to give you something, when you fall down you say "oh gosh", you request a fork to eat with, you sing along with Big Time Rush "worldwide worldwide",  every time you eat something you say, "ummm tay-stee (tasty)", you request many things by name now, you say "kiss" to give/get a kiss, you say high five and give high fives, you say knuckles and do knuckles (which you learned from a boy on the cruise), and you sing "eee ayy eee ayy ohh" when you hear Old MacDonald had a Farm.

* A few days ago I gave you a popsicle and you said "purple" which it was. You did again a few days later. Then today you finished with your bath and pointed to your towel and said "yellow" which it was.



* At your doctor's visit you were 34 inches long and 24 lbs.
* You finished up swimming lessons and we are now considering gymanastics lessons!
* You still bring us the remote control and say "show" when you want to watch Yo Gabba Gabba!
* You come and grab my hands so we can dance when a song is on that you like

* When a song you know and like comes on you can "sing" parts of it -- Like the Metro Station song "Shake it" you sing "Shake Shake Shake Shake" during the course and during Boyfriend by Big Time Rush you sing the "Buh buh buh" part of "buh buh buh boyfriend" during the chorus.


Those are the highlights of the past month - You are so amazing!! We love you beyond words!!

Happy 18 months Bugs!!

Summer Cruise 2011: New Orleans

We had built in 2 days to spend some time in New Orleans - remember this is before we knew it was so scary. Sunday we disembarked which went pretty smoothly and took a cab over to our hotel which was right near Bourbon Street. We got there at like 10 am and they let us check in which we were quite happy about!! We got to our rooms, freshened up a bit and got acquainted with our surroundings then headed out to find the zoo. We got a little turned around - most likely because it was so hot I felt as if I were melting - and ended up stopping in at a Bubba Gump's for lunch. We then found our way to the Natchez Steamboat Tour area, which was one of the things we had wanted to do, so we booked a dinner tour for that night as well as a plantation tour for the following day.

{View}

{Canal Street - view from our balcony}

We then stumbled upon the Aquarium and decided to go in there to cool off lest we die! Poor Ellie was so hot and sweaty - she managed to fall asleep in her stroller when we got into the aquarium so we let her sleep and cool off for a while. This was a pretty cool aquarium - and we have been to TONS of aquariums - and Ellie really enjoyed herself here.

We then headed over (reluctantly leaving the safety of our air conditioned venue) to let Ellie run off some energy at a neighboring hotel - we took her to the ballroom/conference room area and let the girl run wild! We then headed over to the steam boat tour which included dinner and was SUPER tasty. They had chicken, fish, dirty rice, salad, bread, steamed veggies, and cobbler. They also had a band playing on board and all of this was as we cruised up and down the river. It was great except the boat horns were really really loud and freaked Ellie out. She and I had to go to a lower level to escape the noise - poor thing.

FYI: When we returned from our trip I read that some actor was found dead right by this boat on Wednesday and it was presumed that he drowned on Monday which was the night we were on this tour. Creepy.



The next day we headed out for our plantation tour!

When we got back to our hotel we headed over to check out Bourbon street -- my oh my!! I didn't feel comfortable taking pics here - let's just say there were lots of scantily clad females selling their wares at establishments that promoted their wares. yeah....lets just say that. We felt really bad for being there with Ellie, however we had no idea this street was like this ALL the time. But we were there - honest.

 Our final night we took a Street Car to the Garden District - we had read really good things about it and were excited to head out. We hopped on and about 5 minutes into the trip something broke on the track. We had (sitting in the street car with a toddler) to wait for 10 minutes or so for a few drivers to figure out what to do. We then headed out -- only to then figure out that this man's car was going in to the "yard" for the night and we were going to have to transfer cars. So we hopped on another car (with Ellie, backpacks and stroller) only to then find out he was going to have to turn around and go back the other way (the route we had already gone) to get us back to Canal Street - and we had to pay again. So what should have been a 30 minute ride took us well over an hour.

{Justin's sad face}

 {because Ellie's diaper leaked and made a mess on his shorts!!}

 {What can you do?!?!}

Finally, we headed home the next day.....

So long Big Easy....See ya never!