I have a love hate relationship with haunted houses. In the very core of my being I want to love them.....I do love the idea of them....not the reality of them. I think its the fact that I have convinced myself that a serial killer or criminal could easily get a job at a haunted house and go on a mass killing spree ALL under the guise of this being fake. Have I mentioned I have a very vivid imagination. Bottom line: haunted houses and I DON'T mix.
Exhibit A: Approximately 4 years ago Justin and I went to the KLAQ haunted house with some friends in El Paso. They were having a dual haunted house - you paid per thrill - and being the cheapskates that we all were we selected to do just one of them. I believe one was a Circus theme (which we chose) and the other was "Hell" themed. Hey, the circus one sounded the least scary of the two, but I'm not convinced we made a wise choice. We entered and (it was my first "real" haunted house) and I bravely entered laughing at some of the characters we encountered along the way. Then I realized that one of these freak shows was following us, and I was in the back of the pack. He was saying, "Are you laughing now?" as he banged his chains on the boards that made up these narrow walls and walk way. There was horrible heavy metal music blasting and the strobe lights began. I was becoming disoriented and this clearly vindictive man was out to get me. In the midst of things jumping out at us and the maze of it all I was coming undone. This man literally followed us through the whole haunted house - did he not have others to scare?? We approached the end - I could see the end in sight - and this Charles Manson looking man wearing a simple cloth diaper appeared. He blocked the only way out - a bridge. The four of us were caught in this circular room with "Charles" and my hooded/chain banging friend behind us. "Charles" approached and began getting too close for comfort - at this time we all made a run for it across the bridge. Only to find ourselves in the pitch black with the only familiar sounds being screams and a chain saw. Again I was in the back of the pack -- I knew I had to make a move. I pushed Justin out of the way, pushed someone else out of the way, and found the other female in our party frozen in fear (or so I assumed) so I did what any caring friend would do. I grabbed the back of her shirt, pushed her and used her as a shield against the chain saw menacing clown. After running for what seemed like miles we hit day light - I survived!!
Exhibit A: Approximately 4 years ago Justin and I went to the KLAQ haunted house with some friends in El Paso. They were having a dual haunted house - you paid per thrill - and being the cheapskates that we all were we selected to do just one of them. I believe one was a Circus theme (which we chose) and the other was "Hell" themed. Hey, the circus one sounded the least scary of the two, but I'm not convinced we made a wise choice. We entered and (it was my first "real" haunted house) and I bravely entered laughing at some of the characters we encountered along the way. Then I realized that one of these freak shows was following us, and I was in the back of the pack. He was saying, "Are you laughing now?" as he banged his chains on the boards that made up these narrow walls and walk way. There was horrible heavy metal music blasting and the strobe lights began. I was becoming disoriented and this clearly vindictive man was out to get me. In the midst of things jumping out at us and the maze of it all I was coming undone. This man literally followed us through the whole haunted house - did he not have others to scare?? We approached the end - I could see the end in sight - and this Charles Manson looking man wearing a simple cloth diaper appeared. He blocked the only way out - a bridge. The four of us were caught in this circular room with "Charles" and my hooded/chain banging friend behind us. "Charles" approached and began getting too close for comfort - at this time we all made a run for it across the bridge. Only to find ourselves in the pitch black with the only familiar sounds being screams and a chain saw. Again I was in the back of the pack -- I knew I had to make a move. I pushed Justin out of the way, pushed someone else out of the way, and found the other female in our party frozen in fear (or so I assumed) so I did what any caring friend would do. I grabbed the back of her shirt, pushed her and used her as a shield against the chain saw menacing clown. After running for what seemed like miles we hit day light - I survived!!
Exhibit B: Approximately 2 years ago we went a haunted corn maze at midnight -- after having watched all of the Saw movies. We waited in line FOREVER but finally were admitted, and I immediately knew this was not going to go well. I wanted to turn around before we even hit the haunted part because I pretty freaked out by walking in a corn maze in the pitch black. However the people we were with would not let me turn around, and there was a huge sign saying there was no turning back at that point (for safety or some BS like that). We approached this barn guarded by a small man wearing a mask. I didn't want to go in the barn, but I was forced. The man approached me and said in a raspy voice, "Are you scared???" So I walked up closer to him and screamed at the top of my lungs (RIGHT in his face mind you) "YESSSSSS!!!!" At that point I was unglued. I pulled my winter hat over my eyes, clutched Justin's arms (to the point of leaving him bruised for a few days after), and went through the rest of the maze as such. I was near tears, and this was THE longest maze in history. I only knew what I could hear-- footsteps, gunshots, and the rustling of the corn. My fear was interrupted only momentarily when someone let out a yell and we stopped and looked back only to see that someone had gotten scared by a scarecrow that popped out of the corn that she literally fell backwards and landed on the cornfield behind her. She was lying on the ground with her eyes closed and swinging her hands and feet at those trying to help her up. At least that wasn't me, right?!?! After making it out of the maze the rest of my party wanted to go to the haunted barn - ummm no. So as they went I sat at the gift shop and waited for them....and investigated whether this gift shop sold new underwear (they didn't).
So there you have it -- me and haunted stuff. Enemies. Friends. Haunted houses, I love to hate you.
