This afternoon while Jennifer took a LONG nap (It is my understanding that because her body is doing miraculous things that she needs extra rest….) I took the time to look back through some old MySpace messages that we exchanged with various people from around 2005 through recently. It was really an experience to read the messages and reflect on where a few of our friendships have gone over the past couple of years, one in particular. It was even more profound to look at the evolution of mine and Jennifer’s relationship over the past several years.
Our tenure in Las Cruces was a very difficult time in mine and Jennifer’s relationship – there were many trials and a few good times. It is quite evident that Heavenly Father had a plan for our lives together, because I believe that if Jennifer and I had been the two running the show we certainly wouldn’t be where we are at today. The MySpace messages not only reminded me of the trials and tribulations that we encountered during the three years that we spent there, but also a friendship that we developed in a pretty hellish place. While we were in Las Cruces Jenn worked at a psychiatric hospital. She and another therapist at this hospital formed a common bond in trying to avoid the insanity that existed within this organization and lamenting about various psychotic supervisors and staff. The relationship grew outside of the hospital and we eventually found ourselves at dinner one evening with Jenn’s co-worker and her husband. This was the first of many dinners, movies, laughs, conversations, trips to Cold Stone and outings. It wasn’t uncommon for us to hours with these friends several times a week. Both of them left the psychiatric hospital and went to work at other mental health agencies in Las Cruces, but the friendship continued. We shared intimate parts of our lives with these friends and they with us. They moved out of state a few months prior to us moving to Rio Rancho, but we kept in touch. We laughed together when we all struggled to find jobs in our new towns and supported one another in our respective journeys.
Shortly after moving to Rio Rancho, Jenn and I couldn’t deny that our path in life was to be forged together and we started planning our wedding. This announcement was initially met with some resistance by our families and friends, with the exception of our friends that now lived nearly 1500 miles away from us. They never failed to be supportive, available, and excited. Their support was sincere enough that they accepted our invitation to be in our wedding, meaning that they had to travel to Las Vegas, Nevada. I am sure that this proved to be a hardship for them in a lot of ways (that we probably never sufficiently thanked them for), but we never heard one complaint – only support. It had been nearly a year since we had seen our Las Cruces friends when we arrived in Las Vegas. I am guessing this is when the friendship might have shifted. Our time in Las Vegas was mostly good, though we still were dealing with some less than positive vibes from family and friends. These negative vibes impacted both Jenn and I. We worked very hard not to allow this to affect our wedding, and it didn’t (it was perfect), but the stress of the situation did likely impact our interactions with our friends who had traveled from far away. We left for our honeymoon and they returned north, and this I believe may have been the last time we spoke to these friends. I’m not quite sure why this. I don’t recall that we ever exchanged harsh words or even dialoged about what happened during those few short days in Las Vegas. Now what you would expect of a friendship that is comprised of four social workers!
At the dinner table tonight, I told Jenn that I had looked back through the messages and started thinking about our friends from Las Cruces. We talked about how much our lives have changed just in the last couple of years since we spoke to them. We talked about how they had made living in a place that was nearly unbearable, as pleasant as it could be. We speculated about how their lives may have changed as well. Did she finish her doctoral program, have they started a family, how is life up north? I am not sure that we will ever know the answers to these questions, but we have often thought about these two throughout the past couple of years. I do know that Jenn and I will be forever thankful for their friendship in such a trying time in our lives while we look back fondly on so many memories and hope that they have found all of the happiness that life has to offer.
